1 IN 11

Sorry for the bloggy break, we've been a bit busy!

1 in 11? In the last 11 days we've eaten lunch at home just once!

Last weekend we went to visit some special friends and to see many more at a celebration. We spent Tuesday with D, A and baby D at a local community farm. Wednesday (novelty) we spent the day at home. Thursday we travelled close to Bath and went for a lovely walk with lots of other IA families, a really useful, morale boosting, fun time. Friday we met Grandad south of Hungerford for lunch. Yesterday we went to soft play, finally got to the supermarket and then went to a Halloween party at a nursery friend's barn. Today we went to church and then to celebrate D's 60th birthday. A very busy half term, we've had lots of fun and travelled over 1,000 miles!

HOUSE GUESTS AFTER THE PARTY

M, C and L came to the party and stayed overnight. It was a lovely way to prevent the sadness of a party ending. After I put Alice to bed she was shouting over the monitor for L - so I had to remind her that she had to sleep and would see her again in the morning (in the last couple of months Alice has finally accepted me talking back through the monitor without it frightening her!)

This morning they had great fun playing together, they are getting better at sharing with less prompting and really enjoy each other's company. As always it was super to get them together.

CELEBRATING 3, ALICE'S PARTY

Soft play, 14 children, lots of running, jumping, sliding, smiling, giggling, a super afternoon! Alice was in her element from the moment that we got there, she didn't stop except for when she was eating! There were also 3 gorgeous babies and lots of chatty parents and a few other grown-up friends.

It was a super easy party - I just had to do the cake (another panda!), the party bags and pay the bill, low stress, high fun, great value for money. The only (anticipated) downside was that I didn't get a chance to chat with our guests, but that's a small sacrifice for the amount of fun.

2 AND 3

2

3

2 and 3 are very special numbers, not just because my baby was 2 at the beginning of the week and 3 by the end of the week.

2 more years but most of all 3, but not for many years! Sorry to be cryptic (and no labels to give any clues) but I want to remember the day when 2 and 3 reduced me to happy tears, special friends know why!

ALICE'S 1st, 2nd AND 3rd BIRTHDAYS

FIRST FULL DAY OF BEING 3!

Alice woke at the usual (ish) time, I sang HB and she began the day with a huge smile. Then she had a bath - it shows how much she loves the water that she still didn't want to get out after 30 minutes and the reminder that there would be presents downstairs!

I directed her towards the largest present first and she was pleased to FINALLY unwrap her baby! She wasn't overly excited about the baby but then played with her almost all morning, I fell in love with her all over again watching her play so gently and caringly with her baby. She insisted that it was called, 'Baby' but when pushed pronounced it to be, 'Baby Sister'. It's an interactive baby that talks baby talk, cries, opens and shuts it's eyes and when you give it a dummy or a bottle it makes slurping sounds while the mouth moves! After 2 minutes of 'Dadadad' Alice told it to stop and asked why it was making that sound.

I tried to get her to have breakfast after she'd opened 'Baby' and initially she agreed but then insisted on continuing the pressies until they were all opened, as it was her birthday I let her dictate the pace but I'm forewarned for Christmas! We had a relaxed morning - Alice played a lot with her new toys before wanting a cuddle in front of a princess DVD, I was only too happy to oblige! Nana arrived after lunch, Alice opened her presents and then showed her Baby and the other things from this morning while we gently got ready for a birthday tea. C and L (T's sons and Nana's grandsons) and GFN joined us for tea and more presents.

So we had a lovely day, relaxed and happy, Alice loved her presents - her favourite was eventually NOT Baby but 2 goldfish from T and the boys (a present that I've dithered over for the last year!) So we now have Gold and Silver to add to the menagerie!

AND NOW SHE'S 3!

By 4pm it was the 15th in China, so we started to celebrate, Alice helped me to sing 'Happy Birthday' and she even changed the lyrics to 'Happy Birthday to ME!' I put a candle on a cupcake and she blew it out several times with a large grin on her face the whole time. Then she opened a present (of my choosing), instantly she looked to see if it was a 'baby' (as the main pressie I'd left that one for tomorrow!) and she quickly and sadly decided that it wasn't, but her sadness was quickly replaced by big grins as she realised that it was a witch's costume - I was going to call it a naughty fairy, but she already knew what it was!!

In the second photo she's reading one of my favourite books - The Gruff@lo, it took a long time for her to warm to it but now she loves it as much as me.

A NEW LOOK

Yesterday we went to the hairdressers after nursery. They chopped over 3 inches off Alice's hair, I'd like to say that she has a chic new style but even after cutting it again I still don't think it's right, better, but not right!

MY BIRTHDAY! (AND SLEEP, AGAIN)

(yesterday!)

Alice said I was '3 too!' The cake had 'fork handles' (think 2 Ronnies) on it but 21 written on it. None of them were right, all too small and all made me laugh.

At times I did wonder whose birthday it was. We spent the morning at soft play with one of Alice's best friends and then went to her other best friend's house for tea in the afternoon! Then last night I went out for supper with GFN - Alice knew that I was going out but I daren't tell her who I was going with (after the grief I got following the pub lunch several weeks ago). Luckily she'll be seeing him this week.

I'm beginning to notice a pattern with sleep on the nights that I'm out for the evening. She went to bed at usual time, she was tired but not exhausted, she was crying before we left so I went up and resettled her (but it wasn't as easy as it usually is). When we got back I could see the visual monitor from the car and it was easy to see that she wasn't asleep or settled, so I went straight up to her and the moment she realised it was me she relaxed and snuggled down. She woke again as I went to bed and with all the disturbance of the evening I offered my bed, she accepted immediately (the night before she'd declined) and when she came into bed she demanded a cuddle and tried to sleep holding my hand and snuggled up to me. I don't think that there was any coincidence that she needed physical reassurance last night - which leaves me with very mixed emotions, sad that she still needs that level of reassurance but relieved that I can provide that reassurance.

A final note about my birthday - since Mum's death I've always struggled on my birthday, this year was significantly better, now I've got to get through the 12th.

THERE'S A MESS IN THE KITCHEN

I've been so busy for the last 2 days that (as usual) the kitchen's been neglected and it's obvious, very obvious.

Yesterday - work and the general exhaustion that follows it.

Today - I dropped Alice off at the beginning of the drop-off time and went on to Coventry. Bought clothes and some Christmas presents, didn't manage to find ELC to use the birthday discount voucher (so ordered online when I got home!) I got back to Alice's school in plenty of time and sat and listened to the radio (it was nice to stop for a while). Home to usual post-nursery chaos, dirty uniform, lunch bag to sort, proper supper to provide (usually it's a snack after a proper lunch, but that reverses on nursery days), bedtime and then where did the evening go? Bejeweled Blitz's newest version!

COULDN'T REMEMBER

. . . why I shouldn't go on FB, checked, skimmed a chat message about SCD and remembered! Sorry D I ignored the chat, didn't want to talk about a prog that I'd recorded, now I think I know who's going but I'll try and forget while I watch!

MID AUTUMN FESTIVALS

Alice told me last night that it was time for bed, as I put her to bed she told me she needed a lie-in in the morning - even without that I knew she was tired. She slept til 8:30 this morning and we then had a gentle start to the day and Alice was delighted to have a very leisurely bath! Despite our gentle start she was tearful before we even made it downstairs and grumpy for the rest of the morning.

By lunchtime I had a humdinger of a headache and so all our plans were shelved. I was intending to stew this year's apple crop (which was very poor) and then make some mini apple pies - to eat for Mid Autumn Festival, family fruit in a round shape, I thought it appropriate, but it didn't happen. Instead Alice watched a film as I sort of snoozed. She had a cupcake after supper (which we've done every year), she stayed up late to look for the moon, but it was cloudy. We read 'We See the Moon' and talked about her birth family in China and Granny and Grandpa on the stars, we sent them all kisses to the sky. Then at bedtime I sang her 'I See the Moon' and explained that I used to sing it while I was waiting for her, she listened and then told me I was silly - one day she might understand!

We don't celebrate many Chinese festivals, but this is the one that always makes me very emotional - thinking of a birth family far away, wondering if they remember their beautiful baby and wonder what happened to her, wishing they knew she was loved and happy, my treasure.

(And the photos - each MAF from 2007 onwards, huge changes every year, she surely can't go on changing this much?)

THERE'S NO DOUBT . . . BUT WHY?

There's no doubt that Alice is happy in her new nursery (which we call school as opposed to the old nursery that we called by name). It's evident every time that she goes that she's happier now as she goes in so willingly and I have to find her to ask for a kiss!

Last night we were having a snuggle on my bed before Alice's bedtime, it was obvious that she was in a 'chatty' mood. I took the opportunity to ask about her new school and why she preferred school to the old nursery.

Her first response amazed me, 'The dinners!'

(At her new school she has to have a packed lunch - hot meals aren't provided until she goes into Reception. I've spent MANY hours worrying about Alice having a packed lunch, searching for a bag and boxes that she can open and what to put in them that she can eat easily and that she likes enough to eat without prompting!)

After this revelation I continued to ask about other aspects of school and she agreed that it was better than nursery in every way - but I suspect the 'chatty' mood was gone and she was just agreeing for an easy life!

FUN AT THE ZOO

We went to the zoo.

Alice especially wanted to see the lions, fish, seals and 'grillas', so we did but we saw lots of others too.

She wasn't very cooperative when the camera was around and I forgot to bring her camera. She's started doing a very 'scrunched up' smile when I eventually manage to get her to look into the camera, but at least it's still a record of our memories.

She was fascinated by the lions and the lion spent several minutes very close to the glass while we were watching him. Alice was very close to him and the moment I got the camera out she told the lion to, 'Say cheese!' - something I never do but she's picked it up from somewhere and says the same when she's taking photos!

We had a lovely time there and Alice reported that the lions and the fish were her favourites. I bought her a very soft elephant in the zoo shop, not that we saw an elephant, but to remind her of her sister in Thailand. Alice says that she's going to call it, 'Elephant Sister!'

I love 'nearly free'!

MORE EVIDENCE!

We went to the zoo today. Almost 18 months ago we met M, C and L there.

The first photo is from our first visit - it's one of my favourites, I love seeing the girls as toddlers and the contrast between them whilst their body shaping is so similar. Remembering this photo I tried to get an equivalent photo of Alice today to act as a comparison, but she wasn't feeling too cooperative, but it's easy to see the change!

GROWING UP

This week we put aside the booster seat, several days later and Alice is coping well without it - me, less so, I'm still amazed at how fast she's growing up!

BOOT ON THE OTHER FOOT

Today Alice's nursery went on a visit to a local (ish) fruit farm, I volunteered my help. We walked through several orchards, saw pears and apples on the trees, the black watering system, the wooden crates, the fruit pickers and even tractors!! (It's a glamorous life I lead!) The children 'helped' Farmer George to pick some cooking apples and then they got to pick some Gala and Coxes Orange Pippin to bring home before returning to the farm buildings for a delicious drink of apple juice and a quick visit into the cold store. The farmer and his wife were delightful with the children and got the level right. The children were very well behaved (except Alice - she had her 'moments', but then she was the youngest in the group and I was there - which never helps on school trips when a parent attends). I'm in awe of the nursery teachers being brave enough to take over 20 2, 3 and 4 year olds on an educational visit.

We were back in school for lunch. Luckily Alice did understand why Mummy was there and why I was leaving and was fine with it. I then went out to lunch with GFN - to a great pub that I've only been to once since Alice came home. Good lunch, great company and I got back to school just in time to get a parking space and collect Alice. For the first time she kept falling asleep on the way home, but giggled as I kept tapping her leg to wake her up, she even fell asleep with a cheesy biscuit in mid-air - ready to eat it!

I didn't tell Alice about seeing GFN until we were on the way home, she was fine at the time but very cross at bedtime and demanded to see him!

THE SPECIAL BED

With all the sleeping problems that we had this summer, I ended up with another bed in my bedroom - a single bed at the bottom of my bed (neither of us sleep well if Alice comes into my bed). This extra bed we called 'The Special Bed' and Alice was allowed to choose where she slept at bedtime each night.

We had 5 nights in a hotel towards the end of August and Alice had a single bed in my room. We didn't have good sleep while we were away, every night Alice woke at least twice having lost her dummy or panda. When we returned I tried to remove dummy, I did it the wrong way because I'd lost patience over all the extra wakings, so we reached a compromise that dummy is only allowed in her room. Alice understands the rule and generally keeps to the rule. This new rule meant that she could still choose The Special Bed but not with dummy - this encouraged Alice back into her Big Girl's Bed in her bedroom. We've been home nearly a month and The Special Bed hasn't been used for anything other than sorting clothes! This week I asked Alice if we could put it away and she agreed, 'I not scared any more!' Very revealing as I'd never managed to establish why she was having so many sleeping issues - in hindsight it's nice to know that it was only a phase!

ALICE'S FRIENDS

When I collect Alice from nursery I ask her all about her day, I work hard but she's not inclined to share many details - this leads me to ask the question in several ways over the journey home.

Me: What did you do today? . . . Did you play in the water? . . . Did you play in the sand? . . . What did you play with?

(A little later)

Me: Who did you play with today? . . . What are your friends' names? . . . Did you play with girls or boys or both?

Alice: Both!

Me: What are your friends' called? . . . (repeat the questions from before!)

Eventually Alice: (pause for thought) . . . (then very quickly) Three, Four, Five!!

(I love 'nearly free' she's so much her own little person and SO sure of herself!)

GOOD DAY, SHORT DAY

Yesterday started early with the alarm clock. The first alarm goes earlier than necessary so that I can 'come to' slowly whilst listening to the news. Sometimes Alice wakes early and comes in for a cuddle too, more often she sleeps later (or, I suspect, 'comes to' as I start moving round!) Yesterday I asked for a kiss, she refused with a giggle, so I started tickling and it turned into a game, shortly afterwards she lay back and said, 'I like tickles and giggles!'
I added, 'I like cuddles too!'
Then she said, 'And hugs!'
It was a lovely way to start the day and it was a good day, productive at work, organised at home and a different routine in the evening - Alice has usually had supper by the time I get home, so I planned to take her straight upstairs for a major bath (hair washing included!), then PJs before a cuddle in front of the TV and a story, it worked really well and we spent better time together than usual.

Today was a short day - Alice's new nursery has different hours (as I found to my cost last week!) and it leaves me with a short day to get my jobs done. Today I managed to get several jobs completed that Alice doesn't enjoy so it was an effective day.

TECHNOLOGY!

It's been quite a couple of weeks. I had a new computer several weeks ago, we had trouble installing the printer, within a week the print feed was misbehaving, I had a spare printer (very similar to the first, one of the them had been Mum's, we both had new printers in the few months before she died) and luckily had less problems installing the software for the second one.

(Can you tell where this is going yet?)

Within a week the second printer also had a terminal problem with the print feed. Yes, within a week, 2 printers died of the same problem! So now I have a super duper printer combined with scanner and fax and now I can even print wirelessly - AND I managed to set it all up (including the wireless printing from my laptop) on my own!! Haha! I hope it lasts a lot longer than a week.

THE INEPT PARENTING AWARD GOES TO . . .

. . . ME! Uh-oh!!

I thought that the finishing time of nursery was like it's starting time - a range, it isn't so I was over 15 minutes late collecting Alice and very embarrassed. It's very unlike me, when I have to be somewhere at a particular time I tend to be early rather than late.

Alice was fine. I apologised to all and on the way home I apologised to Alice again, I told her it was an accident, that I was sorry and now I knew that I'd got it wrong I'd try not to let it happen again (traffic permitting), her response, 'Don't worry Mummy it's an accident and I love you!'

I feel very guilty about it, despite the fact that it was a genuine misunderstanding, but I wish it could have happened in a situation where I'm better known. But most of all I'm blown away by Alice's laid back attitude.

WATER PLAY

Alice's love of water continues, only 2 days into nursery and they've noticed it too (she's come home soaking!)

The weather this summer has been so poor that Alice hasn't had much chance to use the water table - in fact T put it away last week (perhaps it should have gone away earlier!)

The top photos are from today (we had a PJ day!!) The others are from earlier in the week.

MAKING SOUP!

SOFT PLAY WITH O

Alice was delighted when I suggested going to meet O and his mum J at soft play on Wednesday. It was very quiet so they got to play with whatever they wanted - wherever they wanted! They loved sitting on these blocks at the bottom of the slide, the few other children who were there enjoyed using the blocks like skittles.

Alice and O are great friends, they're very different but play well together. O was in nursery on the same days as Alice and that strengthened the bond. The copycat body language makes me smile, Alice usually says, 'Not fair!' as she crosses her arms like this - funny now but I'm dreading this as she gets older and even more assertive!

MAKING CAKE

(after A's 3rd birthday party last weekend)